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19/01: You know where to find me
You know where to find me when you need me.I'll be removing the seed from the shroud.
You know where to find me when you need me.
I'll be burying the acorn in the ground.
You know where to find me when you dream of me.
I'll be watering the seed with my affliction.
You know where to find me when you dream of me.
I'll be nourishing the acorn with the lesson learned.
You know where to find me when you miss me.
I'll be where I've always been.
You know where to find me when you miss me.
I'll be there waiting.
You know where to find me when you are ready.
When the seedling breaks free in spring.
You know where to find me when you are ready.
When the morning sun kisses the young sapling.
06/10: Forsaken Dream
I remember the cigarette girl.Her face hidden behind thick brown smoke.
Her eyes filled with secrets
staring into the distance.
The picture of the cigarette girl.
Her face hidden within the silhouette.
Her eyes marked by anxiety
and tainted with fear.
Don't cry my cigarette girl.
Beware the forbidden tree.
Farewell my cigarette girl.
Remember the forsaken dream.
The dream of the cigarette girl.
My chest covered with cigarette burns.
My eyes blinded by smoke.
My mouth tasted bitter.
Don't cry my cigarette girl.
Beware the forbidden tree.
Farewell my cigarette girl.
Remember the forsaken dream..
02/09: Similarities.
"You are just like my mom! Keeps everything to yourself. How do you expect things to progress as a couple, when there is no communication?"I remembered. These words spitted out from my lips in exasperation. The similarities didn't end there. Both were good looking, independent women with strong personalities. Both loved kids to bits but are not good at maintaining sustained relationships with kids. Well, for my mom at least. For Her, I could only gauge it from her interaction with pets, her family's dog, and my cats. It is always easy for them to mother, and play with the cute little things for short periods of time. But not a sustained relationship.
"I'll have a chat with your mom. I've known her for years. She does care. She just has a problem expressing her love for the bunch of you kids." My aunt assured me.
We were having a couple of pints at the bar, when I expressed my worries about the recent turn of events in the family. I was worried about my brother's health. I was worried about the pressure and uncertainty my mom and sister-in-law were undergoing. I was worried I would have a hard time stepping into my sister's shoes to attempt to hold the family together. My sister had just relocated to Hong Kong for 2 years. It didn't help that my personal and work life was in shambles.
En savoir plus ...
08/07: Dinner
As a typical single person who has lived most of my life alone, dinners usually means fast takeaways, instant noodles or microwave packs. Most of the time, especially on weekdays, dinner means a few pints of beer washed down with a Guinness or a few glasses of whisky soda.In the recent years, in a futile attempt to lead a more 'normal' life, I decided that I will make it a point to have a good dinner every sunday. You can call it a celebration of the end of a good weekend, or an inoculation to dampen the incoming monday blues. Somehow as I get older, weekends seem shorter and I get more desperate to make use of it to spend more time with the loved one.
So what constitutes a good sunday dinner? On a good day, when I am in the mood to cook, a couple of stir-fried meats, vegetables(usually cabbage) and one form of chicken soup. This combination might not mean much to most folks who live with their parents, thus never had to worry about dinner. I remember the days, years ago, when I was so broke that I had to survive on a packet of instant noodles a day. And I am determined not to let those hungry days haunt me again.
The 2 key components in a self-cooked, 'good' meal, to me are rice and chicken soup. Rice. I love the warm scent of freshly cooked rice. Somehow it evokes the sense of family, love and belonging. Chicken soup. Be it one of the various herbal forms or even chicken curry(even though chicken curry is technically not a soup), somehow always perks me up when I am down.
During the times when I was not in the mood for cooking, I would take a slow stroll to the nearby 'zhu chao' stall to buy some chinese takeaways consisting of similar dishes, but usually with more seafood(I am still learning how to cook seafood properly). I would usually buy in a portion for two, with 2 packs of white rice, and come home happily to enjoy the meal with the loved one.
With the recent turn of events, I am still desperately attempting to have this good dinner every sunday. I am still cooking for 2 or 'dabao' for 2 from the 'zhu chao' stall. Of course I can't finish the meal alone. The remaining food goes into the fridge for the weekdays when I come home drunk and hungry.
Last sunday, it was pouring heavily in the evening. Somehow it got me very angry with the heavens for trying to wreck my plans for a good dinner. I was determined not to stay in and be satisfied with instant noodles. It was good dinner'day. And instant noodles has no place on the dinning table on GOOD DINNER day. I left the house with an umbrella, and came home half-drenched with the piping hot usuals from the 'zhu chao' stall. I stared at the heavens with a smirk on my face, telling them up there that there is no way they can prevent me from my good dinner, on good dinner day.
As I tucked into my good dinner, a part of me realised, that I am just a stubborn old man trying desperately to stick to a routine while the rest of my world is falling apart.
26/06: A rare night without turmoil.
Late night.Ethereal sound of strings caressing my soul.
Peace.
